Grief in Our Furkids

Grief in our Furry Family Members

As you navigate the next few days of trying to find a new normal, it is common to notice changes in behavior of our pets that have lost their housemate/sibling/family member. Most families report an initial period of acting aloof, others quite the opposite, of clingy behavior and increased anxiety. Most of our furry family members do not respond to the physical like we as humans do. They are usually able to discern the change that occurs when their housemate passes and recognize that even though their body may still be here, they are no longer present. As humans it is common for us to congregate around the body of our passed furry kid, clutching onto the physical, not wanting to say goodbye, but this is quite the opposite for most of our other furkids, who accept the passing, recognize that only a shell remains and thus what appears as being aloof- in many times is an understanding.

Acting Aloof does not equate to a lack of grief or mourning. Some of our firkins may be lethargic, stop eating or wanting to play. Others may exhibit clingy behavior, separation anxiety, or restlessness. “Some animals can actually become depressed when they lose a loved one,” says Monique D. Chretien, MSc, AHT, Animal Behavior Consultant.  “They show symptoms similar to humans such as loss of interest in their favorite activities and sleeping more than usual.  However, sometimes dogs may distance themselves from the family and sleep more than usual when they are ill, so you should consult with your veterinarian before seeing a behaviorist if your dog exhibits symptoms such as these.”

The American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals – ASPCA- conducted a Companion Animal Mourning Project.  The study found that 36 percent of dogs ate less than usual after the death of another canine companion.  About 11 percent actually stopped eating completely.  About 63 percent of dogs vocalized more than normal or became quieter.  Study respondents indicated that surviving dogs changed quantity and location of sleep.  More than half the surviving pets became more affectionate and clingy with their caregivers.  Overall, the study revealed that 66 percent of dogs exhibited four or more behavioral changes after losing a pet companion. 

In cats the ASPCA study revealed that 46 percent of cats ate less than usual, 70 percent showed a change in vocalization patterns and more than 50% became increasingly affectionate or clingy. Many cats changed where they slept and overall 65 percent exhibited changes in behavior after passing of a housemate/sibling.

It is also important to recognize, that many of our furkids are attuned to our own stresses and emotions and thus many will feed off of our increased anxiety and grief.

Our furkids are extremely resilient, I usually recommend extra attention, reassurance and affection. Maintaining a normal routine for your furkid, such as maintaining a familiar eating time, or walking/ routine, is the best way to help with the transitional process. Take a tip from animals that live in the wild. They don’t have as much time to grieve as domesticated animals, they have to move on and keep going in order to survive. While routine is important, it is ok to mix it up with fun activities. “Try to take her mind off it by engaging her in a favorite activity,” says Chretien.  If she enjoys human company, invite friends that she likes to visit and spend time with her.  Use environmental enrichment techniques such as toys to help keep her busy.  Hide toys, catnip or treats at her favorite spots for her to find during the day.  Another helpful technique is the use of synthetic pheromones that encourage a sense of security, calm and well-being called Feliway ( for cats) or Adaptil/ Dog Appeasing Pheromone ( for dogs).

On average, the healing process takes somewhere between 2 weeks and 6 months.

“Time heals all wounds,” has meaning for your dog too.  “Time is one thing that may help,” says Chretien.     

Some families will report a change in behavior – a “ coming into their own” or an increased in maturity especially if the passing sibling/housemate was alpha or previously dominated them. Some dogs in particular will become more protective or reactive as they take on the “ guarder/watcher” role.

If you notice, profound and extended periods of grief, lethargy, inappetence or other symptoms, it is best to consult with your regular veterinarian.